Want to Master Enterprise Software Engineering? Use These Three Power Moves to Achieve Great Success!
I have been in the “enterprise software engineering” industry for 22 years.
During that time, I have briefly but technically become a cloud startup millionaire. I published the first book with “cloud-native” in the title (and yes, the goddamn hyphen is correct, I said what I said). In fact, I have invested so many hours into mastering my craft that I literally have to turn down invitations to speak at conferences on the regular, even in this post-COVID era.
But did you notice something?
None of those have anything to do with enterprise software engineering.
We tend to revere personalities, celebrities, and influencers - label us what you will - on social media, but geek fame is worthless inside the belly of corporate technology.
So I’ve had to learn a few power moves to progress throughout most of my pseudo-technical career. Here are my most potent 3:
Power Move #1: There’s always more room on the slide.
Here’s how it works:
Move the company floodmarks (you know, on the PowerPoint template) as far into the margin as you can.
Fill at least six boxes with bulleted lists of 10pt. text.
Paste them into a grid on the slide. Repeat until painful.
This simple template lets you say almost anything you want during a presentation. Your audience will spend the entire time trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on your screen share.
Power Move #2: Never underestimate the power of the one.
Here’s how it works:
Schedule a one-hour meeting.
Create an intro slide with an agenda.
Spend 30 minutes cramming multiple random topics into the first bullet point.
This move allows you to “take out the trash” by jamming through several unsavory items quickly, followed by a quick palate cleanser. No one will remember the negative bits, and the slides say, “Update.”
Power Move #3: Project confidence even when you’re incompetent.
Here’s how it works:
Avoid delivering tangible solutions. That sounds suspiciously like work.
Instead, show up to as many meetings as possible with your complicated slides and confidently make unfounded assertions.
If you avoid work and provide plausible objections to every legitimate technology initiative, you’ll unlock a long and successful career as an enterprise mediocrity architect.
Easy, right?
